May 2013
"6 Things That Happened While Y'all Were... →
needynerd:
dvniela:
Over the past couple days, while everyone on Facebook has proceeded to change their profile pictures in an effort to show support for the American marriage equality movement, I was busy trying to figure out who the hell was who and, oh, found out about, you know, other shit that went on meanwhile:
President Obama signed the ‘Monsanto Protection Act’ into law, effectively...
nevvzealand:
i was on a diet for a month and all i lost was 30 days
jakemalik:
*drops food on floor*
germs: go get it! quick!
king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule
“In a colorblind society, White people, who are unlikely to experience...”
– Monica Williams, Ph.D for Psychology Today, “Colorblind Ideology is a Form of Racism (via ellesugars)
Boom
dearoldlove:
I just don’t get it.
You said you couldn’t possibly live without me.
How are you still alive?
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.
Your New Girl
dearoldlove:
Does your new girl check my fb using yours? That’d be a little messed up, seeing how hard I try not to scope out either one of yours. I’m trying to stay out of your life, to let you enjoy your happiness with her. Please, don’t let her into my secret sadness.
iwasadaisyfresh:
When I start reading a boys horoscope that’s when I know I like him
“The happiness of our lives depends on the quality of our thoughts.”
– Marcus Aurelius (via mybluecanoe)
“The Israelis tried to dehumanise the Palestinians, just like the Nazis tried to...”
– Dr. Hajo Meyer (via thepeacefulterrorist)
hurricane-emily:
jimgaffigan:
Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done.
maybe
just maybe
women do some things for themselves and not just for men
what a concept
This conversation is hilarious
“Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the...”
– N’tima (via artistsuffer)
